It's Official: It Was The Squirrels

Those conniving little bastards... they scurry across the streets, climb up the nearest tree when someone comes near, take a plunge in one of the coolers the vendors have set up in front of Gelman... damn them. After much investigation, my sources have linked a strange phenomena occurring at The George Washington University to the mammal widely known as Sciurus-niger: they took the clocks.

Have you noticed the conspicuous lack of them in all the classrooms across the school? They did it! Why do you think there's a variety of them on campus? The dark ones belong to the covert espionage unit that is responsible for the sabotage of any attempts done by the university to install clocks. The peppered kind keep a look out from the safe canopies of the trees outside, while the brown ones act as decoys, flashing their adorable little selves to the ignorant passerby.

Just the other day, I was walking down 22nd Street passing by Strong Hall when I spotted one of them digging for food on the front lawn. I was five feet away from it, yet it still did not move. I think they're on to me. This could have to do with the fact that I posted a similar version of this article on my Facebook page two weeks ago. If my hunch is proven correct, then it means the squirrels of GW have mastered the art of accessing and surfing the web.

As of this report, the squirrels have failed time and time again to destroy the clocks in Corcoran Hall. You know why? The lasers. Have you noticed the warning signs set up on the walls? I have. But rest assured, I will sleep comfortably tonight knowing the squirrels will have no chance of ridding the University of the giant clock tower up on The Vern.

But its only a matter of time before the squirrels hack into the government data base and send out orders to retrieve the Dorothy Williamson Clock Tower...

Public Hookah'ing

I've oft wondered: will the day ever come when hookahs become socially acceptable enough that they are smoked publicly in plain view, without fear of police mistaking it for something else?

I may have found my answer. See pic on the right.

What do you think: Is this the new norm? Are these guys on the cutting-edge, slightly ahead of their time? Or is this just an aberration - not even close to socially acceptable yet?

(Oh, and in case UPD is reading, hookahs are legal.)

Forget G-Scene/InsideGW, JuicyCampus Is Where Real Gossip Is At

While G-Scene and that kaleidoscope masquerading as a blog claim to have the juiciest gossip at GW, they aren't even close to the stuff that's posted on JuicyCampus, which recently opened its legs doors to GW.

Even though GW was only recently added to the site, you'll already find great dirt like which chicks have the loosest pussies, who at GW is nicknamed "the Urinator", and even which guy has the smallest dick on campus.

And yes, it NAMES NAMES, so you can Facebook these people and maybe have something to talk about if you ever run into them at a party. No more "which GW girl who wears leggings and carries around her Blackberry and has brown hair like totally hooked up with everyone's favorite guy whose dad made a lot of money and now he's looking to blow it on coke and overpriced bottles of Absolut at Lotus??!?!?!?!?"

G-Scene and Inside GW might as well close their doors - or just keep posting event promos for THURSDAYS AT K STREET, because that's all the original content they'll have left.

Apparently money doesnt matter anymore

Yesterday, as I hope all of you heard about or saw, the bill to put about 700 billion dollars back into our economy failed. Yes, that's right the house of representatives didn't think it necessary to bail out some of then most essential cooperations in our country when they were very clearly and very desperately in a time of need.

After Nancy Palosi, the speaker of the house, gave her speech, magically the votes that were in favor of this very necessary bill started to swtich over to opposed. Both Democrats and Repulicans became so concerned with the minute and irrelivant details that they forgot that if this bill failed, which it did, that there would be almost nowhere else to turn.

The arguments that the banks and markets needed to fix themselves was thrown around a lot as to why some voted "Nay" ont he bill. what they didnt consider though, was the fact that they cannot fix themselves if they aren't given anything, or even worse- dont have anything, to fix the markets with. the reason they need to be fixed and funded is because they have no money to function with. so the solution to their problem would be to somehow generate more money, right? I mean thats only logical thinking, it doesnt take much depth. For some reason though, the house was unaware of logic last night when they failed the $700 billion bailout bill.

The other argument that the media circulated last night was that many of the representatives were voting with the constituencies, whether or not they actually agreed with them we will never know BUT my guess is that they were just trying to get in good with those who "knew what they were doing." Thats not really representing though, is it? No thats being a lost dog following around the person with food NOT listening to your own beliefs and judgments.

so guys, what now?

To call or not to call

I woke up at 3am to hear the sound of crashing glass outside my window.
Actually concerned, I rolled over and opened my half-functional blinds.
A few guys were tossing beer bottles out their 3rd story window and being vulgar and drunk and in college.
I was faced with an ethical dilemma- to call or not to call (UPD).
Because their landing strip was the exact route I take to my Geography class, and since I wear flip-flops religiously (and glass through my shoe would be really unpleasant) I called.
I listened to "Fly me to the moon" and other popular jazz hits as I sat on hold, for three minutes.
I gave up and hung up.
Unfortunately for all of us, the guys refused to shut up and I had to call again. After a minute, I got connected to an officer and left my (at that time) anonymous tip.

Do people actually call UPD? Is it a way for students to help keep our campus safe, or are the people who call just ratting out people for having a good time?

Should students call UPD?
	Yes, whenever in doubt, do it.
	Not really, just in life or death situations.
	No, basically don't.
pollcode.com free polls

The Hippo Is Almost Certainly Going Away

According to the poll on MyGW, 69% of students think that "Absolutely!" the hippo should be kept as the unofficial GW mascot, while 13% think George is better as the only mascot and 18% of respondents were freshmen.

Since GW likes to do the exact opposite of what students want (think: J Street reform, CVS at 2000 Penn) we can expect the hippo statue by Lisner Auditorium to be gone by next week.

If the hippo was never in any real danger, NOW IT IS.

Aaaar you on Pirate Facebook?

Today, September 19, is the official "Talk Like A Pirate Day." From the website:

In the seven years since Dave Barry mentioned us in his nationally syndicated newspaper column, what once was a goofy idea celebrated by a handful of friends has turned into an international phenomenon that shows no sign of letting up.

Today, Talk Like A Pirate Day went even more mainstream. Facebook has a new Pirate option for ye. Scroll down your Facebook page, see the word English at the bottom, click it, from the menu of options pick English (pirate). Your Facebook page will have a whole new look.

Speaking of Facebook, join GWBlogspot's Facebook group today!