Saturday, January 24, 2009

One education for the price of two

Dear Dad,

Last week you called to inform me that you just signed your last check to GW. "Congratulations," you said. "You've done a great job."

Thank you, I said, for having paid what is an exorbitant amount for my undergraduate education.

I failed to inform you that it wasn't your last check.

When I applied for graduation this week, I checked a box that bills you for an additional $100. It's a special graduation fee, of course. Did you really think GW would let me leave without coughing up a bit more dough?

Yeah, there is probably some explanation for the fee. "Processing" is always a good go-to, but my personal favorite is "it costs money to function." That explains it.

Kudos to the university if it's as good as their reasoning for study abroad fees. (In case you forgot, you paid tuition in the ballpark of $18,895, a $400 study abroad fee, and $4,893 for housing. Oh and the latter wasn't for my housing in South Africa; it was housing for some random GW student. You're such a generous guy.)

When I inquired as to the justification of these fees, some representative in the study abroad office said:

“Students who go to GW sign up for four years, so GW budgets for four years.”
Again, very enlightening information.

Anyway, I wanted to extend a thank you for the graduation fee, and a pre-emptive thank you for the next fee that is bound to head in your direction.

Love always,

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